I know it’s gotten kind of heavy over here, and I will not apologize for that. Life is not always about cute pics of my kids and the antics we go through. Tonight, I am going to attempt to lighten the mood slightly.
In eleven days, I will be 31 years old. And that seems so crazy to me. Turning 30 wasn’t a big deal for me. I had a quarter life crisis at 25, and I pretty much left it there.
I have to say, though, that 30 was a great year. Great year. I did SO many amazing things this past year. I learned to let go of the fact that the people who are supposed to know me better than anyone really have no clue who I am or how I work. I learned that I can love many people for many reasons, and I know my heart is big enough to love them all the time. I found out that I am totally fine as I am and do not need to please anyone, really. Well, that isn’t true. I need to please my students and my superiors, but I do that pretty well without really trying. I’m totally confident in my abilities in my professional life.
Eleven things that my 30th year has brought to me:
Self realization and acceptance that I am attracted to and love people for who they are, not what they have in their pants. And that there is nothing wrong with that.
Knowing that I am the best mother that my girls can ever have, without reservation.
Music that speaks to my soul while feeding my creative energies
Students that have changed my life, and continue to, just be being who they are and trusting me for who I am
Letting go of childish expectations of relationships that will never be what I wanted them to be, no matter how disappointing
Watching my girls just blossom and become their own little people, day by day needing me less
A passion that will not end to always be who I am for those who need me to be nothing less
A reigniting of my flame for writing that was not extinguished, but dormant for far too long
Knowledge that I am the change I want to see in the world and I am enough
Assurance that my work is never done, and no matter what happens, I need to press on and use big voices
Faith that I am doing what I am supposed to do, being who I am meant to be, and knowing that there are no real mistakes in life
I know I am who I am because I never gave up on me
I never gave up on making myself into someone who could be this amazing power for others.
I never took “no” for an answer. I never got more scared to grow than excited.
And I cannot wait to see what another year brings…
Bring it, 31. You’ve got big shoes to fill…