Tag Archives: quotes

IC Awareness Challenge: Days whatever to whatever…lol

Hello. This month has been a perfect example of why I cannot be trusted to complete any task that requires me to write something every single day about something specific. That is why the “write every day” advice from authors is bullshit in my realm.

The last week has been insanely crazy and busy, and by the time the girls go to bed, the last thing I want to do is think about anything. So instead I found myself binging the show The Bold Type on Freeform and pretty much giving up hope of being productive. Well, I watched the last episode last night and I have a deadline for a publication I write for, so it looks like productivity has to start later for me today.

Anyway, we’ve skipped a bunch of days, so let’s catch up.

Day Twelve: Movies/TV. I don’t watch a lot of movies, and I don’t watch a lot of TV on the regular, so this category is useless to me. NEXT!

Day Thirteen: Letter to my past self. I am actually going to do this for Day Thirty, so NEXT!

Day Fourteen: Flare essentials. For me, coping with a flare depends solely on where I am when the flare starts, how long it lasts, and what the level is. I typically keep IC friendly snacks on me to help me level out a flare, along with lots of water (La Croix is a big helper for me these days), Clary Sage essential oil, and Advil. I try to sit around if I can, which is so rare, but I try to really focus on the self care when these happen. It isn’t always possible, but I try.

Day Fifteen: Pain levels. Oh, those vary. They go from “Oh, that’s annoying.” to “OMG everything hurts, and I’m dying…” And, usually, it’s one or the other – mine seem to like to be on the extreme ends of the spectrum. Very little middle ground.

Day Sixteen: How long DX took. I kind of went over this before, and I know that my doctors knew I had this about a year and a half before anyone told me…lol. Nice, eh?

Day Seventeen: IC Myths. I am not up on the myths behind it, but I know a lot of people say, “Well you haven’t always had this pain, so you can just do what you did before,” and it’s like, no. I can’t. I have been in pain for a long time and didn’t have a name for it until about a year ago, so I can’t go back to how I was before. Everything is different now. Knowing the reason why I am in pain and how to help myself immediately means that nothing will be the same. I will never feel like I did before, and that’s okay. It’s a hard thing to come to terms with the idea that I won’t ever feel like “normal,” but normal changes for everyone all the time. And for me, living with this and its effects on my body and life is just going to be a part of my truth and journey from here on. I don’t know many myths, but I do know the truths that I have experienced. And I want to focus on what I know to be true, not what I want to try to prove wrong.

Day Eighteen: Quotes. As a writer and voracious reader, I am always writing down quotes and adding them to my inspo boards. I live for a well-placed and well-meaning quote. I think words are beautiful and using them in a beautiful way is art. And I love it.
My favorite quote is “It’s okay not to be okay.” And, it’s so true. It’s exhausting to pretend you’re okay just because someone does not understand your pain level. It’s hard to put on a smile every day when you don’t want to. So, I have to remember that it’s okay not to be okay. And that’s all I need to know.

its okay

And as long as I remember this, everything will be just fine.

Being retarded is so gay

They’re just words, right? Wrong. They are more than that. What we say defines us.

Words.

Words do so much to so many. Words can mess us up as quickly as they lift us up only to turn around and throw us down. Words have the power to mesmerize, to amaze, to destroy, to conquer. Words are POWER. Plain and simple. And if you don’t believe me, say the sentence above this out loud while at the mall and see if you don’t get stares.

I have heard so many hurtful things be said to others. About others. In front of others. So many people live their lives believing in the words of others. So many people believe that they are as worthless as their parents make them feel. That they are as lazy as their boss tells them they are. That they are less than human because someone once called them a monster. They believe this because that is all they hear. They believe the words are real, are true. Are definitive. And they believe they cannot change them. That they must embody them. They become the truth behind the words.

I know this because I once was that girl. Believing I was plagued. They said my name like a disease. Always my first and last name together, never apart. As if I was even more volatile because I had two names. Don’t sit too close to me. You may catch it. You may catch what I obviously was afflicted with. I was called everything under the sun: ugly, gross, disgusting, shim, bisexual (although I am not), hideous. Anything that they could throw at me to make me sound like I was less than them. It gave them power, and I let it. And I believed them. I bought it hook line and sinker. If you hear something enough, you start to think there is some truth to it. You believe that you are what they say. So I was ugly. I was hideous. I was a disease. You didn’t want to be friends with me (and some people pretended they weren’t my friends depending on who asked. Because THAT was the cool thing to do). You didn’t want to be anywhere near associated with me. I was cancer. Look out.

But you know what? I started to see differently once I got into college. I was…inspiring. I was unique. I was passionate and driven. I was funny. Outgoing. Smart. Wise. A friend. And then.. all of a sudden… I wasn’t ugly anymore. I was a person again. Renewed. I had a new sense of who I was because NO ONE IN COLLEGE GAVE A SHIT about who I was, where I came from. I could define myself for myself and figure out who I was. And that was liberating. That was my moment to really get rid of the demons of the past, get rid of who they said I was, who I had become. I became me. I became outspoken, an activist, a lover, a fighter, an ally, a mentor. And above all, I became this person. This person who is sitting here typing with a heavy heart for those who cannot be who they are because the words of someone else has defined them. Who can’t be who they are because they feel worse words will come. Who can’t be themselves because the words of the past threaten to overshadow any possible words of encouragement in the future.

I started to chip through the exterior I had allowed those people to build over all of those years, brick by brick. And I found that at the center of the pile of bricks and stones that they had thrown at me was my true self. She was just too afraid to stand up and let anyone know she was there. And she was… beautiful. I am beautiful.

The words cut me…clipped my wings and caged me up. By the power of realization, the power of my voice, the power of MY words, I was able to get rid of the cage like a Pheonix. And I rose. And I was able to fly. And I never looked back. I was able to see the power in myself and use that power to help others realize their power. And I am who I am because of those words. Because of their words, I was able to rise.

I do not wish that those experiences had never happened. I do not wish I could erase them. Those words said in hate and jealousy, disdain and derision made me who I am today. Those words brought me to a place of self-love. And I want to use my words, and my experiences in overcoming those words, to be able to help someone else realize their own power. I want to show someone else that they matter. That who they are, in ALL of their glory, matters. They matter to me. That is what has brought me here, the knowledge that I can help someone else. And I strive to. I want to give others their wings.

Words are not haphazard collections of letters that hold no meaning. As much as we would like to think they are, they’re not. They are powerful. They can be weapons.

I choose to use mine as band-aids, as salves, as lotions and potions to heal…

As tools to break down bricks, as wings to help those who need it to fly…

I choose to use my words for good.

Because you never know who is listening…

And may need help tearing down some bricks.

CAUTION: Woman at Work

Have you ever been in a situation where you just feel like you’re right where you need to be? I get that feeling a lot nowadays, and I have to admit, I kind of dig it. I definitely know that I am where I am meant to be in regards to my marriage and my children. But, professionally, I never really had that feeling until August of 2011.

I started teaching at a local community college. And that totally changed my entire life. From day one, I knew I was where I was supposed to be, doing what I was supposed to do. And I loved it. I was instantly hooked. I came home that first night on an adrenaline rush so fast and so high that I can’t believe anyone was able to bring me down. I remember just sitting on my couch, talking to my husband, rambling on and on about how it felt. I remember pacing the floors of my house, joyously going over every single silly detail and not really thinking about how annoying I was being. I seriously remember everything from that night… and it was incredible.

And you want to know a secret? It STILL feels like that for me. Damn near everyday, I get the feeling that I got that first time: the energy, the high, the excitement. Just in being able to touch someone’s life the way I am able to… it’s incredible. And I want to do it more. And more. All the time. Full time. I want to teach and teach, but that’s not all. I aspire to be Dean of Something Awesome. I want to not only teach the students, but also teach the teachers. I want to work on professional development for staff. I want to work on student servicey type things that create programs for student success and enrichment. I want to train from the top down, and back up again. I would like to be able to put my hands on everyone that I can (not literally, that’s a lot of Purell that I will burn through) and just reach them. Now, let it be said that as of now, I do not want to be President. THAT is too much for me. VP? Maybe. It’s a possibility. However, I am not gunning for anyone’s job; I’m just praying and preparing for something full time to come my way. I want to get in there and make a difference.

I know I am. And I am comfortable in that knowledge. One of my students told me this the other day: “It takes a great teacher to make the students want to do the work and do it well. You, Mrs. Babycakesandwafflefries, are that great teacher.” And I smiled. I thanked her and reminded her that I didn’t do it; she did. I hear it all the time from students, and I always brush them off, thank them, and let them know that they did all the work; I was just the provider of the tools and the keeper of the keys. But you know what, that’s me being modest. I did do something, and I know it. I’m not going to deny that I work my tuckus off for this. I literally put so much into my students and my classes that it is a miracle of modern science that I even have anything left to give my children and husband. I go to every meeting. I get developed professionally every chance I get. I show up at every opportunity that I can possibly show up for. It can get exhausting. But you know what? I wouldn’t change a thing. I love it. LOVE it. I do what I need to do…always. And when you love it, it isn’t work. It becomes a part of your passion and your life force. I have no intentions of stopping; not now, not ever. I want to be around: that face in the meeting, that voice in the conference, that advocate for the students who need it. I won’t stop.

Because my friends, I have learned this. In being present, one takes precedence. In being around, one becomes reliable. In being capable, one becomes able. And in being noticeable, one gets noticed. I still have a little bit of work to do, but you know I am going to do it. I am going to do everything I can to get to where I want to be. Baby steps, of course, will be the mode of transportation. But I am a mover and a shaker. I have the energy, the ambition, and the motivation to make things happen. I know I am in the right place, at the right time, doing what I need to do to achieve my dreams. I am confident it will happen. I know it will. I need patience. And trust. And support. But most of all, I need to keep it up.

Life and the universe help those who work diligently to help themselves.

What do you do to make sure your dreams come true?

I LOVE motivational quotes!

What’s your favorite motivational quote?