Today, we had our nephew with us for the late morning/early afternoon. And I didn’t mind it. His parents are good people, and he’s a good kid. We actually don’t get to see him much due to scheduling conflicts, etc, so it was nice to have him. It just was so obviously apparent that the dynamic in the house was swung ridiculously in the favor of the kids. There were three of them, and there were two of us. And that, my friends, should just not happen in these parts much.
While I respect those of you who have handfuls of children and do your thing, I do not want it for me. Oh no. I couldn’t hang. The kids were SO good and got along really well. We honestly had zero problems all day. But man, it felt like we were chasing one when we should have been chasing the other. Playing outside, we didn’t know who to look at and who to let go. It was very…new. And I don’t like new. I like old. Dependable. Two children. Two parents. That works for me. I suppose it all comes down to who can handle what. And I don’t really like disorganized chaos. And I liken having a four year old, a three year old and an 18 month old to very, very disorganized chaos. Even when they get along, there is some chaos to it. I don’t know how some of you do it. When he left, I was laying on the couch with my youngest and was falling asleep. I had had it. I was exhausted (not like I am not exhausted every other day), and I give you guys all the credit in the world. I couldn’t do it. I’d be a massive ball of dead.
I also don’t think it helped that he is ALL BOY and my girls are, well, not. He is like the run, jump, holler, truck, train, dirt, run, jump, laugh, dirt type of boy. And while I admire that in him, I am glad I do not have it in either of my girls. Honestly, those parents who have more than two kids, and different genders of kids… whoa. You all deserve a medal.
I cannot believe the dynamic that changes when a boy with trucks and laughter coming out of his ears meets with two little girls… it’s like a major movement of the stars. Something goes out of alignment, and I am not kidding you. It was so crazy. And again, they played great and probably didn’t notice the change in atmosphere. But boy, I did, and I was thrown into the zone. Kudos to you parents who do that everyday.. not for me, friends.
I am glad that I have my children that I have. And I would not trade them for the world. And I am even more glad for the daily reminders that God knows what I can handle, and only gives me what does not threaten to kill me. I truly believe a third child would set me over the edge of reason, and I would be certifiably committed to a home for wayward moms. Or something. I don’t know. But it wouldn’t be good. I will stay on this side of the craziness, and I will not add to this world, that is so dark and scary sometimes…
I would be irresponsible to not mention the terribly horrific tragedy that occurred in Colorado two days ago. A gunman entered a theatre and opened fire on a sold-out midnight showing of the latest Batman flick. He killed so many, wounded so many more. And this, my friends, sickens me. What leads a man to do this? Details come out in droves and I am not going to speculate. All I know is this: this world is scary, sad, and tragic. However, I choose to believe in and follow the Light. And I will always try to focus on the good and not the bad; to consider all the bad without the good would crush my soul into a powder to be blown by the wind. I also know that I do not want my girls to know such fear and darkness. I don’t want them to be afraid and paranoid by every person they meet, even though anymore, it feels they should be. I want them to know joy, peace, laughter, and happiness. I want them to know love over hate. Never hate. For any reason. There are some who don’t believe in God. There are some who don’t believe in the Devil. And let me tell you friends, they are both alive and real in my world. I know Satan shows his face sometimes, and I know some people choose to see it. I know that the evil that is done in this world is masterminded by something that we may never fully understand, and that is good because to understand that amount of evil and hate would destroy who we are. I don’t ever want to think that my children could succumb to such evil, and I do all I can to teach them compassion and caring, love and faith, purity and hope. The only way to cast out hate is to shine the Light on it. I know some who don’t believe, and that’s okay. That is their right. We may not agree, and we don’t have to. But know this:
May God be with the families suffering in Aurora, CO tonight, and in the weeks, months, and years to come.
We pray for them…