Tag Archives: motivation

30 Day Writing Challenge, Day Four

Someone who inspires me in 100 words (I set the word limit; it wasn’t prescribed)

Caelan inspires me to be a better person because she sees through the bullshit and tells it like it is. If she doesn’t like something, she says it. If she sees injustice, she speaks on it. She sees the world in a way I aspire to – not for how she WANTS it to be, but for how it is from her view. She is funny and real and honest and raw, and she doesn’t give shits. She has become such a strong little lady in the last few years, and I am in complete awe of her every single day.

mom-quotes-from-daughter

Being retarded is so gay

They’re just words, right? Wrong. They are more than that. What we say defines us.

Words.

Words do so much to so many. Words can mess us up as quickly as they lift us up only to turn around and throw us down. Words have the power to mesmerize, to amaze, to destroy, to conquer. Words are POWER. Plain and simple. And if you don’t believe me, say the sentence above this out loud while at the mall and see if you don’t get stares.

I have heard so many hurtful things be said to others. About others. In front of others. So many people live their lives believing in the words of others. So many people believe that they are as worthless as their parents make them feel. That they are as lazy as their boss tells them they are. That they are less than human because someone once called them a monster. They believe this because that is all they hear. They believe the words are real, are true. Are definitive. And they believe they cannot change them. That they must embody them. They become the truth behind the words.

I know this because I once was that girl. Believing I was plagued. They said my name like a disease. Always my first and last name together, never apart. As if I was even more volatile because I had two names. Don’t sit too close to me. You may catch it. You may catch what I obviously was afflicted with. I was called everything under the sun: ugly, gross, disgusting, shim, bisexual (although I am not), hideous. Anything that they could throw at me to make me sound like I was less than them. It gave them power, and I let it. And I believed them. I bought it hook line and sinker. If you hear something enough, you start to think there is some truth to it. You believe that you are what they say. So I was ugly. I was hideous. I was a disease. You didn’t want to be friends with me (and some people pretended they weren’t my friends depending on who asked. Because THAT was the cool thing to do). You didn’t want to be anywhere near associated with me. I was cancer. Look out.

But you know what? I started to see differently once I got into college. I was…inspiring. I was unique. I was passionate and driven. I was funny. Outgoing. Smart. Wise. A friend. And then.. all of a sudden… I wasn’t ugly anymore. I was a person again. Renewed. I had a new sense of who I was because NO ONE IN COLLEGE GAVE A SHIT about who I was, where I came from. I could define myself for myself and figure out who I was. And that was liberating. That was my moment to really get rid of the demons of the past, get rid of who they said I was, who I had become. I became me. I became outspoken, an activist, a lover, a fighter, an ally, a mentor. And above all, I became this person. This person who is sitting here typing with a heavy heart for those who cannot be who they are because the words of someone else has defined them. Who can’t be who they are because they feel worse words will come. Who can’t be themselves because the words of the past threaten to overshadow any possible words of encouragement in the future.

I started to chip through the exterior I had allowed those people to build over all of those years, brick by brick. And I found that at the center of the pile of bricks and stones that they had thrown at me was my true self. She was just too afraid to stand up and let anyone know she was there. And she was… beautiful. I am beautiful.

The words cut me…clipped my wings and caged me up. By the power of realization, the power of my voice, the power of MY words, I was able to get rid of the cage like a Pheonix. And I rose. And I was able to fly. And I never looked back. I was able to see the power in myself and use that power to help others realize their power. And I am who I am because of those words. Because of their words, I was able to rise.

I do not wish that those experiences had never happened. I do not wish I could erase them. Those words said in hate and jealousy, disdain and derision made me who I am today. Those words brought me to a place of self-love. And I want to use my words, and my experiences in overcoming those words, to be able to help someone else realize their own power. I want to show someone else that they matter. That who they are, in ALL of their glory, matters. They matter to me. That is what has brought me here, the knowledge that I can help someone else. And I strive to. I want to give others their wings.

Words are not haphazard collections of letters that hold no meaning. As much as we would like to think they are, they’re not. They are powerful. They can be weapons.

I choose to use mine as band-aids, as salves, as lotions and potions to heal…

As tools to break down bricks, as wings to help those who need it to fly…

I choose to use my words for good.

Because you never know who is listening…

And may need help tearing down some bricks.

Sunday Night Snacks

A handful of M&M flavored tidbits to wind up the week….

1. I forgot how much I love DMB. I did not like them in college when it was the Thing To Do. I liked them after and now as an adult. I wasn’t like, “Oh, DMB, speaks to my soul…” I heard that enough. There were no Dave posters on my wall. lol. Lame-O. Nope. I waited until I got older and their sound grew on me. I love ’em.

2. Since Shitty Cake Day things have been better. I’ve remembered that things happen for a reason, and even if we don’t know the reason we have to trust that God has bigger in store. God can dream bigger and do so much more for us than we can do for ourselves, and I have to remember that. I trust in Him and the Universe, and know that the plans for my life that have already been set outweigh my own plans for my life.

3. I am loving my commitment to take weekends off and just enjoy the girls. I looked at some papers today for about fifteen minutes, recorded points, and moved on to fun with the girls. I have to say that since letting go of fluff that was disguised as commitment, I am a lot happier, less stressed, and at ease with myself and my family. Love it. Good feeling.

4. We have decided to rejoin the living world and get UVerse TV back. I love love LOVE my Roku box, but I really miss being able to see things as they happen. And HGTV. And football. And the news. And my shows on daytime TV. With the Roku box, we definitely are more intentional in our TV watching, as you have to select things to watch and watch with purpose. There is no background noise or flipping through. It’s point, select, watch. But I can also do that with regular TV. I know that. So we’ll see how it goes. I don’t necessarily want a higher bill, but it won’t be unmanageable. I am excited and predict I will spend about three and a half hours straight with HGTV on once it is installed Wednesday morning. 🙂

5. I have been thinking a lot about religion. And I know that I am Catholic. I feel it in my soul. I don’t feel it as strongly as I’d like currently. I know we all go through periods of humdrum and then passion, so I am not concerned. I find myself utilizing a lot more of the Buddhist teachings I studied before. I do believe, and this was always a joke, that I am a Buddhist Catholic. In many ways they are so much alike. No one really thinks of it like that. I can see many similarities (and many BLAZING differences!) between the two. I like to combine them both in my everyday life. I’m decidedly more spiritual than religious. And that is FINE with me. 🙂

6. I just killed a spider that I attempted to kill like four nights ago when he got away. He was in plain sight and BAM! Got him. Karma, baby!

7. A friend of mine just called me and we talked for an hour and a half. And it was nice. The kids are in bed, I had no distractions, and really got to talk to her. I forget how quiet it is without the kids sometimes. They definitely provide the soundtrack to my everyday life.

8. I have rediscovered How I Met Your Mother on Netflix and I am obsessed with it. And not just because NPH was my first love.. 😉 It’s such a great show. So smart while being funny, campy while being cute. I dig it.

9. I am going to start working again on that novella I started months ago. With the whole reorganizing of priorities, I have yet to throw in “write novella”. But it’s coming. Soon.

10. I have been thinking a lot of my dreams for my family’s future… And I did some digging for some quotes for a friend and came up with some good ones. I have inspiration for a tattoo (like I don’t have enough inspiration. I would have eleven tattoos if I ever followed through on the inspiration…) from one of them. I will share it below.

When I read this, it literally took my breath away.

I believe this is my life verse.

Does anyone who reads this have any pull at HGTV?

I love HGTV. I miss it since we got rid of UVerse. I would watch it for hours, and my poor husband was convinced I knew no other channel. When I was a SAHM, it was on 24/7 because Nick Jr made me want to poke my eyes out with its trademark airing of the same 10 shows all.the.time. Now I watch it streaming on my iMac, and it’s not the same, but I can’t complain. I would dream of David Bromstad, Genevieve Gorder, Vern Yip, or Candace Olsen (or really anybody there) to come to my house and redesign something. Anything. Everything.

I would get ideas on fun things to do to the house whenever we had the extra cash for it. We are working on that, and since we now have a brand spanking new roof, I feel like we should have brand spanking new something. I would love them to do our basement, kitchen, bathroom, anywhere. I don’t care. Build a yurt in my backyard (they designed yurts on the last DesignStar episode I just watched). I am not picky. And I would love anything they did for one simple reason: I didn’t have to do it!

Shawn and I suck at joint decision making for the house. We haven’t had a kitchen light for months because we can’t agree on what we like, and I want to go check out the Restore to see what they have to offer. I was newly pregnant when we bought this place, so I don’t remember even picking out colors. I want to repaint the living room but can’t decide on a color. We need to redo our bathroom and will need to decide on a design scheme. And that gives me a little bit of IBS because we need to agree on it. I don’t do well with compromise sometimes. I also want the basement done without doing any of the work myself. I need three days with no kids or other distractions just to focus on it alone, and Lord knows that doesn’t happen. I just want stuff done. And time to do it in. And money to do it with.

HGTV should just drive around random cities that are not LA, Miami, NYC, Denver, Honolulu, and head to the little towns to get the jobs done for those of us who have desire to change where we live, but no time to do it in. And not the biggest budget to get it done. I don’t even want to mess around with sending a tape. I’m sure people need more than I do, like the soldiers, the disabled, the laid off and downsized. I’d feel bad even competing, so I don’t want to. Just come to my house, knock on my door, and take over.

And please, send David Bromstad because I would like to squeeze his cheeks.

Whichever cheeks he’d let me squeeze…

He is one attractive specimen. Thank you God, for David Bromstad…

CAUTION: Woman at Work

Have you ever been in a situation where you just feel like you’re right where you need to be? I get that feeling a lot nowadays, and I have to admit, I kind of dig it. I definitely know that I am where I am meant to be in regards to my marriage and my children. But, professionally, I never really had that feeling until August of 2011.

I started teaching at a local community college. And that totally changed my entire life. From day one, I knew I was where I was supposed to be, doing what I was supposed to do. And I loved it. I was instantly hooked. I came home that first night on an adrenaline rush so fast and so high that I can’t believe anyone was able to bring me down. I remember just sitting on my couch, talking to my husband, rambling on and on about how it felt. I remember pacing the floors of my house, joyously going over every single silly detail and not really thinking about how annoying I was being. I seriously remember everything from that night… and it was incredible.

And you want to know a secret? It STILL feels like that for me. Damn near everyday, I get the feeling that I got that first time: the energy, the high, the excitement. Just in being able to touch someone’s life the way I am able to… it’s incredible. And I want to do it more. And more. All the time. Full time. I want to teach and teach, but that’s not all. I aspire to be Dean of Something Awesome. I want to not only teach the students, but also teach the teachers. I want to work on professional development for staff. I want to work on student servicey type things that create programs for student success and enrichment. I want to train from the top down, and back up again. I would like to be able to put my hands on everyone that I can (not literally, that’s a lot of Purell that I will burn through) and just reach them. Now, let it be said that as of now, I do not want to be President. THAT is too much for me. VP? Maybe. It’s a possibility. However, I am not gunning for anyone’s job; I’m just praying and preparing for something full time to come my way. I want to get in there and make a difference.

I know I am. And I am comfortable in that knowledge. One of my students told me this the other day: “It takes a great teacher to make the students want to do the work and do it well. You, Mrs. Babycakesandwafflefries, are that great teacher.” And I smiled. I thanked her and reminded her that I didn’t do it; she did. I hear it all the time from students, and I always brush them off, thank them, and let them know that they did all the work; I was just the provider of the tools and the keeper of the keys. But you know what, that’s me being modest. I did do something, and I know it. I’m not going to deny that I work my tuckus off for this. I literally put so much into my students and my classes that it is a miracle of modern science that I even have anything left to give my children and husband. I go to every meeting. I get developed professionally every chance I get. I show up at every opportunity that I can possibly show up for. It can get exhausting. But you know what? I wouldn’t change a thing. I love it. LOVE it. I do what I need to do…always. And when you love it, it isn’t work. It becomes a part of your passion and your life force. I have no intentions of stopping; not now, not ever. I want to be around: that face in the meeting, that voice in the conference, that advocate for the students who need it. I won’t stop.

Because my friends, I have learned this. In being present, one takes precedence. In being around, one becomes reliable. In being capable, one becomes able. And in being noticeable, one gets noticed. I still have a little bit of work to do, but you know I am going to do it. I am going to do everything I can to get to where I want to be. Baby steps, of course, will be the mode of transportation. But I am a mover and a shaker. I have the energy, the ambition, and the motivation to make things happen. I know I am in the right place, at the right time, doing what I need to do to achieve my dreams. I am confident it will happen. I know it will. I need patience. And trust. And support. But most of all, I need to keep it up.

Life and the universe help those who work diligently to help themselves.

What do you do to make sure your dreams come true?

I LOVE motivational quotes!

What’s your favorite motivational quote?