Tag Archives: confidence. self-assured. career. kind of a big deal.

Aaaah, I can feel it….

I can feel the rush and fuss, the nervousness and anxiety that my classrooms will be filled with tomorrow. I love the start of the semester. I absolutely love taking command of a classroom, allowing my students to be free to be who they are, and giving them the space to explore who they are for a full sixteen weeks. I also love allowing them to see that writing is not scary. I love showing them that they can do it; writing is a part of life, and we do it everyday whether we know it or not. Giving them their words, their truths, and their power through the written word is what thrills me the most. Those moments that they get it…aaaah. I love those moments more than I should.

But that won’t happen tomorrow. Nope. Tomorrow, they will come into the classroom, nervously shifting their notebooks and pens (provided they have them). Checking their phones. Talking with old friends. Checking out new friends. And I will walk in, looking like one of them due to amazing genes. Standing in front of them, I will begin. And there will be syllabus talk, getting to know you talk, and this is what I expect talk. Questions. Any? No? Not yet? Ok, you have time. Get your books. Yes, we are reading Orange is the New Black. Yes, the same as the show. Maybe we can watch some of the show later. We have a lot of time.

But, we don’t have a lot of time. It may feel like it, but before we all know it, it will be week 13 and final paper prep will be in high gear. We will have read a book, watched a documentary on a local war hero gone too soon, and talked about our own choices. We will have learned and grown, lost members for sure, but we will have done it all together. They will have celebrated. complained. discussed, and digested. And then? A month or so after that, I will do it all again with different classes, for another 16 week session. Isn’t that great!?

I don’t get nervous the first day. I have not been nervous one time, and I suppose I could be allowed to be this time around as I am teaching something totally new, in a new way with new materials… But I don’t get nervous. I get excited. For myself. For them. For this wonderful (though underpaid and overworked) opportunity to touch lives and illuminate students to the importance and power of language and writing. I may not make a difference to some of them, but to a few, I could make all the difference in the world. And that is why I walk in with my head held high, making them comfortable while pushing them outside of their comfort zones. Be not afraid. Don’t worry, I’m not.

They’ve got everything they need to succeed. They just need me to show this to them.
And it never feels like work. I’m having far too much fun for it to feel like a job.

truth
I
f you do what you love everyday for a living,
You won’t work a day in your life.
Writing and teaching writing are my passions…
And I can’t wait to see how many minds and soulsĀ I can open this semester….

When you know, you know…

I think as women in this country, we don’t always allow ourselves to take credit for things that we deserve credit for. We’re “supposed” to blow things off that have the potential to be a big deal when anyone else points them out. We let little compliments slide. ‘Oh you look nice today!’ ‘Oh, really? You think?’ That’s how a conversation for me usually goes when someone pays me a compliment. I ended up being Kind of a Big Deal with Premier Designs, and whenever someone pays me a compliment I still sound like an idiot. I had to make sure I took the compliment and was gracious, instead of letting something ridiculous slip out (“I’m awesome!”) or blowing it off (“I just do what I thought I should do.”). Well, I am refusing that slice of humble pie for dessert tonight, and letting my confidence rule the page. How about a little self-assurance with a side of ego-centrism to start your weekend? I feel like patting myself on the back and highlighting some things I am good at, that I KNOW I am good at, in no particular order. Feel free to add your list, kind readers. It is OUR time to shine!!

Things I Am Good At:
1. teaching. I have been told by my students, my mentors and a few outsiders who have been able to access my discussions by being in the same general area. I know I am supposed to be there, everyday, for my students. And I know that this is my calling. No doubts.

2. empowering women through jewelry.

3. talking. I am a talker. I am not as good at listening, unless I care. But I am working on it.

4. throwing myself under the bus. I don’t need anyone to do it for me, I am the first on that scene.

5. motherhood. the end.

6. wifedom. I am a really good wife (in my own opinion), but I am not a good housekeeper. Or laundry person.

7. writing.

8. procrastinating.

9. making up story lines for General Hospital. Now, if only they would ask me for my input.

10. making lists to kill time.

11. researching. I am a research junkie.

12. forgetting things.

13. paying the bills on time.

14. encouraging people. At least, this is what I am told.

15. humming.

16. standing up for what I believe in. and not backing down, regardless of the cost.

17. helping other people. I don’t like to sit back and watch. I act. sometimes too quickly, but I want to act. it is in my nature. I am a do-er. it’s a curse.

18. planning things. and sometimes forgetting them. but always planning.

19. laughing at myself.

20. loving myself, no matter how I feel or how I look. Regardless of what I am doing or what’s in my head…in my heart, I always LOVE me. and I want to pass that on to my daughters.

I am sure I am missing some, it’s late and I am running on fumes. Sleepless babies do not allow for rested nights. I want to hear from you, the readers. I know you are out there, so stand up and be proud, TOOT your own horns!! I want to hear the toots from here… let’s do this!!