Five Blessings in My Life (no people, my rule):
- Unconditional love from my children: I never wanted kids. It wasn’t until my cousin had his children that I even warmed up to the idea of children. And when I saw his oldest daughter for the first time, I knew I wanted children of my own. Now, with three daughters of my own, I have three blessings, every single day, even when I feel like I don’t deserve it. My greatest blessings call me “Mommy,” and sometimes, I’m the best Mommy ever…and sometimes, they tell me I am anyway.
- Music: Without music I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t know some of my favorite people. I wouldn’t have had some of the incredibly amazing experiences I have. I wouldn’t know what love is, what it feels like, what it sounds like. What words to use when life is bad, good, and everything in between. I wouldn’t know how to put words to the incredible feelings inside of me. I wouldn’t be who I am without the music that I love. And that means more to me than just about anything else.
- Unending support from my friends: When I don’t deserve it, they support me. When I completely suck at life, they love me anyway. When I need an ear, they all have them. When I am down, they lift me up. When I am scared, they shine lights for me. My friends remind me who I am. My friends remind me of what I am capable of, even when I don’t believe them. They help me rise. And I will rise for them, without hesitation. Any day, in any way.
- Protection from my guardian angels: Between my grandma Alice, my Poppa, and my cousin Kevin, alongside the baby I lost along the way, I am surrounded by the most loving and supportive people on the other side I could ever need. When grandma Alice died, she took almost everything out of me. I had nothing left when Kevin died, which upset me because I was only 18 days postpartum with my youngest. And I was so overwhelmed with everything, I feel like it’s taken me this long to really mourn his passing. Poppa passing was the last straw for my sanity in many ways; I still am not really okay with him being gone. Grandma Alice and Poppa were two people who loved me unconditionally, no questions asked, and losing them was really devastating to me on many levels. I still talk to all of them sometimes; it reminds me to stay connected to those who are on the other side, waiting for me and caring for me. My baby passed very early, so I didn’t feel a lot of connection to him (I always say he was my boy since I don’t have one here in this world). But, going through losing him was absolutely terrible, and something I don’t wish on anyone. I am surrounded by love in the next life. And I know they keep their eyes on me in this one.
- My writing: Saved my life. Still does. End of story.
On the good days, count your blessings. On the bad ones, count them twice.