30 Day Writing Challenge, Day 8

Share something I struggle with…

I struggle with a lot of things, but tonight I am struggling with feeling like enough. Sometimes, I never feel like I am enough. I can work hard, I can parent hard, I can wife hard, and sometimes it still feels like something, somewhere is being left behind. I never feel like I can give 100% to everything, so I am doing a lot to make sure my energy is focused on what I CAN do, what lights ME up.

I am pulling back on things that do not light me up. I am taking care of myself and doing what I can to stay above board. I am blessing and releasing like it’s nobody’s business (cuz it’s not). And I am seriously just cutting myself slack and giving myself grace.

I am taking time off for myself every evening at 8pm. ALL work stops for me unless it’s work on ME. My spirit. My journaling. My reading. My own care. I give and give and give all day, and now I am taking back my evenings. Weekends, too. They’re now mine and my family’s. I am passing on opportunities that do not serve me or create more work for me. And you know what? It’s fucking amazing.

Sometimes I do not feel like enough, honestly. But, I think it’s okay. As long as I am good with me, that’s all that matters. And really, at the end of the day, I am okay with me. I may not always LOVE me or be HAPPY, but I am working really hard to be truly content with my life, my decisions, and the ways I am now choosing to spend my time (and who I spend it on).

I only get this one life; I refuse to spend any more time on things/people/opportunities/experiences that do not truly light me up, serve me well, and bring me joy. I’m too old for nonsense… AND I am enough. I know that. But, sometimes I struggle to remember it.

 

And how does this make you feel?

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