Eight weeks to go…

I can’t believe it, but it’s true. I am down to 56 days until my due date. It doesn’t make any sense to me either. I think once next week is over and my semester ends, I will be able to be all “baybee is coming!!” But then, my luck, I won’t have many days of that because she will show up early. I’m just calling it now. I do not think this baby will wait until June 24 to show up. I’m actually hoping she just holds off into June, if I am being honest. This pregnancy has had its fair share of ups and downs, stress and frets, but man, I gotta say, it’s been easy. Even with the sciatic nerve, the constant nausea in the beginning, the aches and pains, it has been simple and mindless. And thank God for that, because not much else has been simple or mindless.

My husband got home from North Dakota after 15 days, was off one day, went to a few other jobs for a week, was off for 23 hours, and then back to New York this past weekend and New Jersey currently, at least until Thursday. I honestly don’t know how I haven’t had an absolute meltdown yet. I’ve come close, friends. Oh, it has been close. But I am trying to maintain for the girls (both external and internal), and I am trying to maintain for my family. I cry alone when I cry. I try not to let them see me stress out, but it’s hard because those two faces are right beside me all the time. I vent to friends. To Facebook. To myself. To God. To my husband sometimes. He gets it. It’s hard for him, too. It’s temporary but surely doesn’t seem to be ending any time soon. And while it isn’t his fault that he has to do all of this, we have to maintain open lines of communication as much as possible. I am a hormonal mess many days, the girls are wrecks when they don’t get to talk to him, and it’s harder on us here I think because kids don’t get it. All they know is Daddy is gone, they want to talk to him, and they can’t whenever they want to. It’s tough. It’s tougher than I thought. But, you know what, really so am I.

So, back to the baby. I have done absolutely nothing to get ready for her. Wait, no. I did order some cloth diapers for her. I do have her carseat, some clothes (I need to get more newborn stuff), I have a bassinet in her room that needs situated, a crib in a box, her monitor in a box, I have someone making her letters for her room, and I have a bouncy seat that needs put together. We decided to keep her room the same colors to save time and money in all of that, and the girls found some neat wall art to get for her room, but again. I have to get that. I feel like I just have no energy or desire to really prepare for this whole endeavor. And I need to. Because she’s coming. Ready or not. I need to pack a hospital bag (which my app on my phone told me to do this week, and I am like, “no. Slow down, app. I have time.” I don’t even remember WHAT to pack in those things.) I need to have five seconds to focus on myself and Finola and what I need to get done. I need to wash her clothes, the walls in her nursery, the diapers (though she won’t be in them right away), the bedding…everything needs cleaned, basically. Everything needs done. It shall be done. Don’t ask me when, but it shall be.

I need to make a list of what I need to buy yet. I have some newborn diapers that I bought ages ago in bulk, so she will be set for a while in those. I have a friend who gave me some of my clothes back that I had lent her, but I need more clothes because we all know newborns do things like spit up and need changed frequently. Which reminds me, I need bibs. I have some bottles, but I am hoping not to need them because I will be nursing. I have a pump, and I am going to be calling my insurance company to see if I can get accessories for it free through them because the Affordable Care Act provides stuff like that now. I have a giant wetbag for diapers at home, and a small one for in my diaper bag (oh yeah, I have a new one of those, too, thanks to a thirty-one party that was mega successful!), but I need a hamper for at home. I just feel like I need little stuff. I need to set aside money to make sure I can grab them and budget that in (since I am always thinking budget) so that Finola has things she will need right away and I won’t have to go out shopping when she is fresh out of the hospital, haha. I need to go try out baby carriers because I will need to be able to port her around with no hands to chase around the other two. It’s amazing how much you screw yourself a bit when you decide you are NOT done having babies AFTER getting rid of everything you had. Lesson for life: never say never, and keep all baby stuff for at least two years because you just never know…

So, Finola, take your time. Mommy’s not going anywhere. Daddy’s always going somewhere. And we need time to prepare for you. The girls are ready to meet you like NOW, but don’t listen to them. Their only job is to love you, snuggle you, and smother you with sisterly goodness for a while… so, they don’t get a vote in this one. 🙂 Just stay put, grow, develop, and I will do everything I can to minimize stress and keep your environment welcome and calm. I can’t promise that will be easy, but I promise you I will give it my all…

keep-calm-only-8-weeks-leftJesus. Eight weeks. That seems so…surreal.

And how does this make you feel?

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