Holy CRAP! It has been almost a month since I have posted. Let me tell you with absolute certainty that there is a direct correlation between the amount of stuff happening in my life and my frequency of actually writing about said stuff. Luckily for you, wary traveler, I am on break after Monday night, so I will be around here A LOT!! Bwahahahaa. Or whatever.
Anyway, so what’s new on my end? Work kind of sucked me into this weird black hole of grading/revising/conferencing/meetings… It was a literal vortex, and I tell you the truth when I say that I felt myself getting sucked under. I have never had that happen before. Time management has been my schtick, and I am usually all over it, but wow. The past few weeks, I have not returned phone calls, I have not spoken to anyone but a select few people, and I could barely stand to be around myself. BUT I am JUST ABOUT done with my grading, and then I can take about a month off to just…sit. And plan syllabi. And lessons. And you know, do anything but relax really because teachers don’t really get “breaks.” I will do what I can to make it relaxing, but come on. It is also the holiday season, and with that comes the wrapping and the gifting and the familying and the eating and… anything but relaxing. Catch my drift? But I can’t complain; I do what I love, what I am meant to do, and what I have been called to. So, it’s a trade off. Sanity in life for passion in work. I’ll take it. Sometimes. 😉
The layoff has been….annoying. My husband should never spend endless hours at home with our girls, our girls should never spend endless hours at home with him, and we have just about had enough together time JUST in time for me to be off, too! Huzzah! Which is fine, but really, we spend too much time together. In other news related to this, get a load of this: no one can offer us any assistance. We make too much money (an adjunct salary and unemployment just really blow the load there. In what world?). Or a layoff isn’t a dire enough situation for assistance (dire enough that he ISN’T WORKING RIGHT NOW, but whatever). Or we have never been late on a payment, so they don’t really feel we are a liability (this one kills me). Which is hilarious to me. “We’re sorry, you’ve done everything the correct and responsible way, so there is no way we can help you.” The lady at our mortgage bank (which I hate but shall remain nameless) actually told me, “We would be able to help you so much more if you had missed a few payments.” I about choked. REALLY!? THAT is the way you treat people who do things the way you’re supposed to when you sign up for Adult Life? Needless to say, I thanked her for her time and hung up. I guess we can’t complain too much. We should be fine all around. Shawn’s work is looking to pick up in the very near future, and I am frugal as a bandit so we have resources. And, even if it gets ugly, we can come out on the other side of this knowing that we did it without a handout. Without any help. My parents offered to pay my oldest’s tuition for January, but I have already budgeted the living daylights out of our money and we won’t need it. It is nice having parents who are willing to do what they can, but I don’t ever expect them to do anything for us. My expectations for other people are pretty much always quite low, so any little ray of sunshine in there is always welcome. If you expect nothing, you won’t be disappointed when nothing happens, right? Someone actually told me at a work meeting yesterday that she read somewhere that people who are pessimistic actually are happier people, and I believe that in a way. I’m not pessimistic, but I’m surely not Susy Sunshine all the time; I remain a realist. And this situation is showing me that no matter WHO I think CAN help or WILL help, it ain’t happening. So, no expectations. See? Told ya, survival mode.
What else? Oh. Remember this? Yeah. Two points on that one. First of all, there was another school shooting yesterday in Connecticut that killed 27 people, 20 of which were children between the ages of 6-7. While I cannot even wrap my brain around that enough to really talk about it right now (but it’s coming), I think these tragedies need to stop. I cannot imagine what would lead someone to go and kill 20 children… let alone babies. 6-7 years old is a baby. I don’t care. These innocent children died in a senseless way, and the ones who survived have SO much to overcome now… I cannot imagine the horror, the shock, and the panic those children felt. I just….later. Later. *breathe*
Yep. We’re having a third!! 🙂 I am about 13 weeks along now, due June 24, 2013…. 😉 I told ya, something about that week in El Paso just changed everything for me, and about a month after I wrote this we totally conceived! 😉 So far this pregnancy has been not the best. I am nauseous all the time. Tired. Cranky. Emotional. This one is so different than the girls…. I would think it’s a boy, but one never knows because people say every pregnancy is different…. so. We don’t know. But we will in February! 🙂 I am excited, FINALLY, Lord knows it took me a long time to even feel excited after it felt like my life force was being sucked away and replaced with nausea every day. I have been feeling some pulls and pushes, blips and flutters, waves and wiggles, and THAT is when I felt excited. 🙂 This baby is putting me to my paces, but it will be worth it. ❤ I’m excited! Baby!! 🙂