There are days…

There are days that I don’t think I should have ever had children. Do not get me wrong. I love my kids. And would do anything for them. I do not REGRET having children. I would never regret my girls… I just think that there are certain times when I realize that I had no clue what I was getting myself into. Which, I suppose, is part of the thrill of it as well as the overwhelming part of it all. I try to navigate situations as best as I can, but sometimes… sometimes I think that I really have no clue what the hell I am doing and I realize I am winging it. Maybe the best part of parenting IS winging it… ?

Lately, things have not been smoothy-poothy at our house. For some God-awful reason, my girls have decided again that we will all sleep when we’re dead and we need to seize every moment, of every day. And night. Regardless of the time. Now, I don’t know about you, but getting up every hour on the hour, and sometimes more often than that with a toddler and a preschooler just is not my bag of fun. However, my girls seem to think my bag of fun needs a changing. And, for some reason, even with the multiple wake ups at night and everything, they are still up between 5:30 and 6:30 every.single.morning. I don’t get it. It doesn’t help that Shawn is on afternoons this week and doesn’t get home until midnight:30. So, as you can imagine, all four of us are tired. And cranky. And we all love/can’t stand one another. And we get on each others’ nerves. And it isn’t fun. It is not a good time. I do not know how to make my children sleep later. I keep them up later, try to mix up the routine…and it doesn’t matter. I just don’t get it…

Caelan has decided that she hates us. Well, me, mainly. She has been the most argumentative little shit lately. I know she gets it from me, and I kind of hate that about the whole damn thing. I do not have the patience for this girl sometimes. Everything is an argument. Everything is a debate. Everything needs to be up for discussion. And it doesn’t help, with the tired thing, because sometimes I yell at her. Or get stern with her. And I don’t want to do that. I hate that. I hate the way it makes me feel, but I am telling you, friends, when you are pushed to thisclose to the limit and your child is screaming at you with her hands on her hips … sometimes, you yell. And it sucks. And usually, it doesn’t do any damn good. Most of the time, it does no good. So, what does work? I don’t know. I know what used to work. It doesn’t work any more. I used to be able to redirect her. But with age, she has become more and more like a little RainMan every single day and the focus on things has become laser-like…. I cannot redirect this child anymore. I can’t suggest we do something else. Or listen to something else. She has none of it. I know she’s pushing me. And I have been able to get down to her level sometimes and really explain things to her, but even that doesn’t work all the time. I am not a spanker. I am not a screamer (well, I have the potential to be, but I don’t want to be. Like yelling, it doesn’t work). So, what works? What do you do? What can I try? I will take any suggestions. Lord knows, I need them sometimes.

Ellery hasn’t been feeling well. I thought it was teeth for a while. And then I realized it was more than that. However, I don’t know what was going on with her. She was 100% her old goofy self today, though, and I am hoping that it sticks around. Again, though, with the not feeling well for seven straight days, and the tired… it hasn’t been pretty for her either. I don’t yell at her, but I do believe I told her to Go The F%$k to Sleep the other night….

There are days, my friends. And this week and a half or so have been those days for us. What do YOU do when days like this pop up? How do you handle it? Teach me, oh wise ones…

Because Mommies don’t get days off. And at this point, cocktails don’t even help Mommy anymore…

And to think I have entertained the ridiculous idea of a third child recently…

Obviously, I need help.

2 thoughts on “There are days…

  1. Awwww, Devon, I have been there.  And, from the other side, I can tell you that I have never been as tired as I was when my girls were that age.  My youngest was not, and still isn’t, a sleeper.  We worked really hard on many things to help her (and us) rest. 

    First, we worked to set the sleep stage.  We steered them toward quieter activities after dinner.  Coloring, book reading, that type of stuff.  I even remember an Elmo bedtime video we used.  Routine ruled the house – same bedtime prep activity at the same time every night.  Bedtime alway s at the same time.  Never “just five more minutes.”  Predictability was one of the keys for us.

    Next, I knew we had to teach her skills for her to use to help herself get to and  go back to sleep.  So every night they would get into their own bed and we would read them a book (I can still recite Goodnight Moon from memory.)  Then we would tell them a story (each individually).  One with them in it.  Some sort of fantasy or adventure with them in the starring role.  We had them close their eyes and think about the story and then we will tell them to keep thinking about the story when we left the room.   We called it “giving them their dream for the night”.   When the youngest would wake up there would be no getting out of bed – just “think about your dream for the night” or “do we need to make a new dream?” This still helps her at 12-years-old.  She only calls for me when she is really having problems and she will ask me for a dream. Of course now it is shopping in Paris instead of princesses (always kick-a$$ princesses though!)

    Finally, we had to stick to our guns – no getting out of bed. Only if she had to go to the bathroom. We even had to confront that one for awhile because she would use it to get up.  When she was old enough, we gave her set activities she could play in her bed in the morning and told her don’t wake us up until the clock in her room read 7:00. 

    I always gave the older one “special” things because she is older.  ” You get to stay up later (15 minutes) because you are older” types of things. I would also use her as a helper with getting her “baby” sister ready for bed. 

    I know this is ridiculously long but I wanted you to know that everyone will survive and that if you can disengage the emotional part of your brain for a few minutes and come up with a plan you might feel more in control.  I used to have to tell myself, “I am the adult, I am the adult” to get my mojo back.  Good luck.  🙂

    1. Melanie: those are all good suggestions. We do have a routine that is pretty set. We only deviate on special nights (if there is some thing going on). I like the idea of giving them their dreams. I will try that.

      As for keeping her in bed. I have done everything. I feel we are going to have to resort to putting the baby gate up across her door again. She hated it. She would scream and run up against it until she knocked it down. It was awful. But it was a physical barrier and that is what we need. She doesn’t care that I give her a set time on her clock she can come out. And we have things she can do when she wakes up. She just wants to come in our room and bug us until we get out of bed. It is really, really hard to love.

      It is exhausting. And I try not to get in that emotional state. Sadly, it is a human flaw lol.

      Thanks for the tips!! P.S. I am LOVING your glass lotus flower. It’s so pretty in its new home. 🙂

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