Tagalongs are a gateway drug…

I have always had a lukewarm relationship with the Girl Scouts of America. I dropped out of Girl Scouts, because my mom wasn’t my leader anymore and I didn’t want to have to deal with listening to anyone else as an authority figure. This is also why I never joined the military. I struggle with the idea of putting my girls into Girl Scouts (mainly because I am a commitment phobe, as well know, and GS requires a lot of commitment). I have composed a pros/cons list (a double-entry conversation journal, for those writing process fanatics such as myself) that I would like to share with you tonight.

1. They will teach my daughters all of the domestic nonsense that I absolutely suck at. I can spend my time teaching them about comma splices and being open-minded, feminist, informed citizens of the world. Score.
2. They will learn the importance of owning your responsibilities and being proud of your accomplishments. Do they still have the sashes with the badges? Those were the shit!
3. They will learn the importance of being a female in this society and how important sisterhood really is. We are family, people!
4. Equality! GS of America allows transgender folks to be a part of their organization! YES Sir. Or Ma’am. Whichever! I am IN! Count them in, too!
5. Hello Girl Scout Camp. Gets them out of my house for a few days.
6. They can learn how to be crafty and all that jazz. And then they can teach me. Score.
7. They can do something outside of school and home that makes them proud of themselves and helps shape their individuality. Hello, awesome!!

1. Once a year, for months on end, I will have no money and gain twenty pounds because I will be their troops’ biggest supporter through my Tagalongs addiction.

If Heaven has a flavor, it is the flavor of Tagalongs.

And how does this make you feel?

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