Isn’t it amazing how one little thing can turn your life around? How one little realization in the everyday can just hit you over the head, speak to your heart and blow your mind? Yep. It’s true. And no, I am not talking about Jesus, though we all know my history and future with him. I am talking about Caelan, and the realization tonight that she is such a big girl. Such an amazing little person with such an awesome little personality and the pride I felt for her this weekend has just hit my heart and struck such a chord. I cannot get over it. I need to write about it. So if you don’t like a mom who is going to gush on and on for about five minutes about how proud she is of her child, how much she loves her child and how excited she is to see her little girl blossom, then close the window and save your time.
Ok. Do not say I didn’t warn you…
Caelan was in a local production of a compilation show from the Wizard of Oz. She is in a crew, with an amazing dance teacher (who is an amazingly talented professional dancer herself) and she did a little tap dance number during intermission. Nothing huge. Nothing spectacular. Nothing short of brilliant.
The first night was touchy, and I was not so proud. She pushed one of her dance mates down on stage, right at the beginning of their number. It garnered a lot of laughs, and she ate it up. WHICH I was not OK with. But what am I going to do, in that moment? Nothing I can do. They’re young, they aren’t always going to like each other and kids will do that kind of stuff. I get it. But I also let her know in no uncertain terms that it was not okay, and touching another person in an aggressive manner is never acceptable.
Anyway, we had a billion and one talks about keeping her hands to herself, and the lesson hit home. The next two nights…amazing. She was perfectly happy just watching the production, enthralled by the sets, the costumes and the songs that were sung. But then, it was show time and she truly loved the attention, and is really a natural on the stage. I wasn’t sure how it would go, because she can be really super shy sometimes, but not on the stage. Something in her just lights up and she goes into showtime mode. Adorable to see. She didn’t hit all of her marks, she didn’t do everything perfectly. But it was perfect for her and for me. Again, something in her is made for the stage. I am not going to go all Dance Mom. Or Theatre Mom. I wouldn’t even allow her to wear makeup and glitter hairspray was a stretch. But watching her, on that stage, go into her own little world and catch her music, her beat, her own little rhythm… drove me to tears. Every time. I would laugh while crying. And the performance was short, two minutes max. But it was the proudest two minutes I have ever had. Now we know I cry a lot anyway, but still. These were proud tears, happy tears and absolutely amazed tears. To see her up there, doing her own thing and enjoying every second of it…it hit me. She is a little person, who is capable of so much more than I can imagine at this age, and she can go so far…
She wants to continue to dance. With the same teacher. And I am going to sign her up gladly. Because it isn’t about her being the next Disney Channel star. It isn’t about her being something that she’s not. It isn’t about how she can make something big out of herself, because I don’t want that for her out of this.
I want her to know that it is all about her. Being herself. It’s about the lessons she will learn. The things she will experience. The discipline she will take in. The fun she will have. And the places she will go. She started out as the little girl who danced in front of the mirror (when she did dance) and running around the room causing a ruckus when she didn’t dance. And then, she transformed. And she went to Oz.